Cheers!

I leave bright and early tomorrow morning. . . as in by 5am. The sun won't even be awake by then, which is a miracle. You should right this down in your diary of many secrets and wonders so that one day you may tell your kids and grandkids that Josie K. was up and awake with coffee in hand before the sun ever showed his face. ;) So, I'm driving out with my friend Anna and we're taking four days to drive out to the beautiful Colorado. I am so excited about this road trip! The second night we're staying in this cool place in New Mexico, which I can't say here because I'm keeping it as a surprise for Anna. muhaha. But it looks fabulous and makes me happy.

Our itinerary, if you care to know, is as follows:

Thursday -- leave Starkville, MS around 5am and drive West. Most likely reach Little Rock, AR by lunch and Apache, OK by 6pm. Apache, OK is our destination for the first day, we're staying at a ywam base's hospitality suit for the night.

Friday -- leave Apache by 8am and continue driving West. By this point we will have traveled through MS, AR, OK, and be heading into TX. We're planning to stop at every State sign and take a picture. It's going to be awesome. Ok, continue driving and eventually reach NM where we will spend the night in unsaid location.

Saturday -- leave by 8 or 9am and head North where we will travel through Starkville, CO....completely awesome. Pictures will be taken. Take slight detour to the Great Sand Dunes, which are reported to be really cool. Drive to Colorado Springs and bunk for the night.

Sunday -- Tour around Colorado Springs and just chill and hang out for the day. Hopefully go see the Garden of the Gods which are also reported to be really pretty. Sunday is up for change and fun.

Monday -- drive to Denver and send Anna back home on le airplane to MS. Most likely cry some more. Drive by myself to Arvada, CO where I will know no one and be spending the next 5 months of my life. Eeegads.

I'm freaking out just a little bit, but i'm mostly just getting ridiculously emotional. I was watching what not to wear and started tearing up. I mean...c'mon! These next two weeks are going to be long, weird, exciting, good, scary, and thrilling I do believe. I know I'm going to miss my family and friends immensely. But I also know God is loving and I know that He is good and I know that He has called me to this place at this time and that He will never leave me. And for all of those truths, I am extremely grateful.

So, here's to life more abundant and love without end. . . .to God and God alone be the glory! Psalm 115:1

~Josie

Belly Of A Fish

I remember when the Veggie Tales version of the story of Jonah came out in the theater. I went to go see it with my two best friends, we were thirteen, giddy and got the best seats in the house. It was a cute movie with a good message and memorable songs sung by vegetables. But the story of Jonah is so much more than a tale about a giant fish who swallowed a man only to spit him back up three days later.

The story of Jonah is also my story. I'd rather be likened to another character in the Bible like Samuel or David or perhaps even Moses, but Jonah it is. There is this thing I don't like called the unknown. Also conflict. That too. But yea, not knowing what comes next or how or WHY is something quite scary, in my opinion. Stepping outside of my comfort zone and deciding that what HE has asked of me is more important than my ridiculous concerns and fears. But alas, I am like poor ol' Jonah, I look at the task or request and I run full speed ahead...in the opposite direction. There is some phrase about facing your fears, it's good advice, but I like to be different from the pack; I like to run from my fears. HE says do this, go here, speak that and my flesh will not die. I am like a disease to my own self. Insane, I know.

Jonah didn't have Nineveh in his plan, it wasn't on his regular route and I'm sure he hoped it never would be. We don't get to plan our destinations or the routes by which we get there. The only option we have is to obey or not to obey. Do we do it HIS way or do we turn our backs and run in our own way? Which one do you think brings the greatest amount of satisfaction? On this journey of HIM revealing to me that I am more and more like Jonah than I was at first willing to accept, I have realized that even though I may run there is no place HE is not. David in the Psalms said,

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, and settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast (139:7-10)."

I can try for the rest of my days to run from HIM if I so desire, but it achieves nothing and it hurts because I know that if HE has called me somewhere then HE only means good by it. So perhaps I will save my legs and my breath and run the direction HE has placed before me because I know that submission and obedience bring joy and peace.

Hopefully I won't need a giant fish to swallow me before it completely clicks...

~Josie

The Fail Boat Is Docking

At this current moment in time i just wish that school had a face, or a stomach, just something that i could punch or stare at harshly. Instead i will write. Getting into nursing school really shouldn't be this hard. Perhaps i wasn't cut out for this. Maybe i'm not nurse material. Should i look elsewhere? Should i venture out onto something new and different? Or do i stick it out until i see a letter that says "congratulations, you've been accepted!" rather than another "regretfully. . ."

I feel like it's too early in the game to say that i'm worn out, but then again i should be graduating in two months and i'm not. Everyone around me has a plan or goal with a route in mind or in sight. I don't want to wallow or get all self-centered and pitiful, i just want some understanding. I know i'm not the only one who has gone through something like this or has felt this bummed but geez louise it sure does feel that way. Absolutely rotten.

Everyone says go to school, finish your degree plan, graduate, you'll be happy you did, it'll help you in the long run, etc. What if i don't want to. I am so sick of school. I've considered dropping out, doing long-term missions, but then what about this "economic crisis" we're in? How do you argue that? Do you? What if my heart is just not in it anymore? What if HE tells me to keep on at it until i DO see that "congrats" letter? Should i run until i get so tired that i can't even crawl?

I've got to figure out the right question. And then. . . .and then i'll let you know...

~Me

New Plan. . . !

There seems to be this really frustrating pattern in my life. It involves plan A, then plan B, then if that doesn't work i move on to plan C. Yes, plan D has made an appearance once or twice. I just wish that plan A would work so that plan B, C, and even D didn't even have to exist.

One of the lovely truths about God is that HE never has a backup plan, never has to resort to plan B. HE has known what HE's doing from the beginning, HE never has to question or re-plan or ask us if we have a better route in mind. I'm pretty sure that inputting our ideas/plans could be potentially disastrous. So, if HE has had plan A all along why do we constantly insert plan A.2 or A.7, thinking that it is close enough, maybe even slightly better than what HE has prepared? Or simply put, plan A works, plan B, aka the fail plan, does not.

I would very much like to know HIS plan because i thought i did, but now i am quite unsure. That nursing school i was sure i was getting into...yea, it didn't happen. So what's next? I have one other nursing school which i'm applying to. After that, though, i really have no plan B. Honestly, i'm tired of looking for another route, because it doesn't matter if i haven't sought HIM out first and foremost. My routes lead to dead ends and frustration. New Plan: don't make any plans.

~ME