Like A Drum. . .

There is an aching in my belly and a stirring in my soul to write of the wonderful chaos that seems to be swirling inside of me, yet I can find no words. They seem to have been all but used up by the poets and writers who've come before me and who've put what I am feeling into words more beautifully scripted than I could ever dare compose. Yet I need to express it, somehow, someway, in some exquisite form or another, so as to convey to the small world around me the joys and fears that build with each passing day.
I am discovering what makes me come alive and that I am loved and lovely just as I am and have to change for no one. I am capable of much and yet still in need of much grace and wisdom as I travel along in life with the people who are here to travel with me. My dreams and desires are so much bigger than I can even handle on some days, I often think that they are tremendously silly and impossible, questioning if they will be fulfilled or if I will have someone beside me to fulfill them with. This journey is never certain, the people you travel with are never guaranteed to stick around the entire length of the trek, but you travel and press on just the same. You meet new strangers who soon become friends, and maybe something more, you invest your time, risk being vulnerable, and challenge yourself and them to dream bigger and live to a higher standard and calling with beautiful expectations and hopes on the horizon because to hell with it if we're not. There are always new books to read, places to see, people to meet and learn to love, oceans to swim, and dreams to be chased - - the journey doesn't ever end until we're dead. So I am trying to make the most of it, trying not to miss out on the beauty and the mystery of life, yet all the while being extremely terrified and nervous of the next bend in the road. How will it make my heart beat? Will I be able to handle the fierce drumming of stumbling upon something or someone lovely? or even the plummeting sensation of discovering something beautifully painful or terrifyingly risky? I still don't know and may never know. But I have to travel, I have to explore, I must take risks, be daring and bold, courageous and free, otherwise I will suffocate in my need to see and experience all the beauty there is to behold. . . in love.

Cheers!

I leave bright and early tomorrow morning. . . as in by 5am. The sun won't even be awake by then, which is a miracle. You should right this down in your diary of many secrets and wonders so that one day you may tell your kids and grandkids that Josie K. was up and awake with coffee in hand before the sun ever showed his face. ;) So, I'm driving out with my friend Anna and we're taking four days to drive out to the beautiful Colorado. I am so excited about this road trip! The second night we're staying in this cool place in New Mexico, which I can't say here because I'm keeping it as a surprise for Anna. muhaha. But it looks fabulous and makes me happy.

Our itinerary, if you care to know, is as follows:

Thursday -- leave Starkville, MS around 5am and drive West. Most likely reach Little Rock, AR by lunch and Apache, OK by 6pm. Apache, OK is our destination for the first day, we're staying at a ywam base's hospitality suit for the night.

Friday -- leave Apache by 8am and continue driving West. By this point we will have traveled through MS, AR, OK, and be heading into TX. We're planning to stop at every State sign and take a picture. It's going to be awesome. Ok, continue driving and eventually reach NM where we will spend the night in unsaid location.

Saturday -- leave by 8 or 9am and head North where we will travel through Starkville, CO....completely awesome. Pictures will be taken. Take slight detour to the Great Sand Dunes, which are reported to be really cool. Drive to Colorado Springs and bunk for the night.

Sunday -- Tour around Colorado Springs and just chill and hang out for the day. Hopefully go see the Garden of the Gods which are also reported to be really pretty. Sunday is up for change and fun.

Monday -- drive to Denver and send Anna back home on le airplane to MS. Most likely cry some more. Drive by myself to Arvada, CO where I will know no one and be spending the next 5 months of my life. Eeegads.

I'm freaking out just a little bit, but i'm mostly just getting ridiculously emotional. I was watching what not to wear and started tearing up. I mean...c'mon! These next two weeks are going to be long, weird, exciting, good, scary, and thrilling I do believe. I know I'm going to miss my family and friends immensely. But I also know God is loving and I know that He is good and I know that He has called me to this place at this time and that He will never leave me. And for all of those truths, I am extremely grateful.

So, here's to life more abundant and love without end. . . .to God and God alone be the glory! Psalm 115:1

~Josie

I'm A Big Girl Now

Monday:

drove to H-burg with Gracie

-schools are dumb sometimes

-met her awesome friend.... who i swear is the black version of me

-lovely talks on the drive

supper with the fam

movie watching with J.L.

-Cary Grant is still slick at sixty

Tuesday:

slept late

-yayayay!

did some more packing

-which seems useless because i just end up wanting to wear what i've just packed

-also, dad put a t-rex in my suitcase. lol

eye doctor visit

-i'm far-sighted

-but just barely, so no worries.

stopped by my previous home which we will now call "G.C.'s place"

-chocolate cake...!

Wednesday:

rise and shine before 7am

drove to campus to get shots

-let it be known that the MSU campus is one of like 4 clinics in the whole state that carry the typhoid vaccine.

-which is weird

-got three vaccines and 90 malaria pills

went to my favorite spot in town, city bagel, to get coffee and brunch

-eating alone is fabulous sometimes

-wrote ty notes and read books

supper with the parents

prayer night at P&D's

-last one for many moons

late night grocery shopping

also late night cooking

Thursday:

packed picnic lunch

picked up Gracie's birthday present

-it was ready just in time

-also, my bargaining skills are insane

took Gracie to the refuge

-we picnicked, we trail walked, we deer and bird watched

-we also drove

-and we got lost....ending up in a town 35 minutes from original location

-positive side of getting lost = poppy seed bread from the local bakery

-WIN

library visits and chats

-they are generally fun and often amusing

Life class at P&D's

-also the last one for many moons

-*tear

Friday:

helped a friend pack up her house with mother dearest

-nice chats

spectacle shopping

-i got glasses, i got glasses, i got glasses hey hey hey hey!

-they're purple....again. don't judge me

grocery shopped with mother dearest

-felt like i was 12yro again on a saturday

cleaned house for farewell dinner tomorrow evening

-i have 6 days left

I think i'm so lost and confused as to what emotion i should be feeling that i have depleted my emotion department of reasoning skills. If that sentence made a lick of sense to you i will give you a star. God has been doing so much in me in the past three months, and even more so in the past three weeks because I know HE's preparing me for something and that it'll be grand, it's just the molding and waiting period that is so difficult. These past few weeks have been bitter-sweet as I am beginning to realize how much I love and will miss everyone. It's usually, and most recently, been the other way around where people depart from me, which is making this "move" weird and slightly hard since I'm doing the leaving. Is it this hard for extroverts?

Anyway, the weather here has been MARVELOUS the past day or so. It feels crisp and cheery, just like September should feel. Also, did you know a crisp in Scotland is a potato chip? Because chips in Scotland are actually french fries. Random fact of the day! I'm hungry now with all this talk of food. . . .eckhmm. Yea. The anemic child has got to eat!

~J.K.

The Mantel Of My Abode

Because I am moving I decided it was time to give you a glimpse of the changing mantel in our house. These were taken, not with a purpose in mind, over the past year because I'm just weird like that. I just thought it was cool how the fireplace, and the house in general, changed over the course of G.C. and I living here. Granted, I did most of the decorating and redecorating...you can thank my SP for that too. ;)

August '10

September '10

October '10

November '10

Christmas '10

Last week '11

We will not comment on the lack of months mentioned in the above mantel documentation. Kk. I will miss its cuteness, but i have completely redone my room at my parent's house and it IS AMAZING...just fyi. I am in love with its awesomeness.

I got to sit outside on campus today in my hammock. The wind was blowing and gently swaying my hammock and I under the gathering of trees. I may or may not have taken a nap and it may or may not have been wonderful. I'm half way through the second book in the Anne of Green Gables series. Those books are dear to my heart. I'm starting to panic now that my departure date for YWAM is in the mid 20's. Life is about to change but it's going to be great. I'm going to miss absolutely everyone to the point where there could potentially be rivers of tears. Does pepperoni and/or bacon count as "red meat" for this anemic child? If not, it should. . .

~me