M.I.A.

After realizing and being scolded by a few various people at the lack of blog writing I've done, I thought I owed an update to those who chance to read this (aka my mother and G.C.). *wink wink*

So tomorrow starts the 7th week of my Phase II school here at YWAM Denver and it has so far been fabulous and really eye-opening. Our first week was on Strengths Finder, which is basically this test that we all had to take before the week started to discover our top five strengths and then we spent the next four days detailing, identifying, and learning how to live and function in our specific strengths. My top five, in case you were curious, are Adaptability, Includer, Restorative, Developer, and Connectedness; which basically means I am a relationship oriented person who goes with the flow and loves to encourage people and see them grow and develop into who they're meant to be. Basically. So yea that week of teaching was really enlightening, it brought so much clarity as to why I act and respond the way I do in certain situations and also how I can better serve and relate to other people as I grow into and discover more of who God has made me to be. The speaker, Chey, that week had us make and keep two lists, one was things we loved and one was things we loathed which we filled throughout the week as we came across certain things that we felt needed to be added to one or both of the lists. Some of the things that I wrote down were contradictory or on both lists, which was weird but it was often that it was due to the situation or setting, not that I was bipolar in my reasoning process. For instance on my loathe it list I have both "not making quick decisions" and "being rushed to make decisions." I promise it makes sense. ha. Anyway, it was fun, and still is fun, discovering how to use my strengths and then making a conscious effort to engage and practice using them in everyday situations. Good times.

About two or so weeks ago we had another lady from Boulder come and speak, which has probably been my favorite week of teaching so far. Brenda Lewis is her name and she taught on dreams and desires and did so with such authority, wisdom, humility, love, and laughter. She really had us think and consider what our dreams were and how we were living in order to achieve those dreams and desires, which made me realize, sadly, that I didn't have any dreams really. I had stopped dreaming for so long, I had become such a practical, down-to-earth thinker that I had completely avoided the idea of dreaming because I labeled all of that as impossible and unrealistic. If I can't achieve it then it will never be possible and I will never see it come to pass, that was my thinking for so long. I had gotten used to being disappointed and let down by my dreams and desires in life as I watched them all fall away unfulfilled that I just quit dreaming or allowing God to fill me with new dreams and desires altogether. Sad but true. Throughout the week Brenda challenged and encouraged us to step out on a limb and trust God to fill us with new dreams and to trust Him to fulfill them in His way and His timing, not our own. Nothing ever turns out the way we think it will anyway. So at the end of that week I took out a sheet of paper and began to write and scribble designs and ideas and hopes and plans that I felt God had been hinting at for awhile and things that I am passionate about and now I am so excited about my future, about what God is going to do, about the dreams and thoughts He's got just for me to walk out here and now. Dreaming again has never made me feel more free and alive. God is so faithful!

Tonight my Phase II school is heading up to the Eagle Rock campus for the week, I can't describe to you my enthusiasm about that fact right now, but it is real high! I spent three amazing months up there and so for me it's like returning home, it makes my heart happy. This week is going to be full of good teachings, a hectic schedule, fireside talks in the dining hall, lovely Jesus time, and living in the mountains again...I am stoked beyond words. I hope that you're week is more than amazing as well, filled with splendid moments and good Jesus time too.

~Josie K.


P.S. Shout out to my lovely mother today for being amazing, kind, patient, loving, caring, open, listening, and an all around terrific mother. I love you mother dearest, happy mom's day!

Eagle Rock

Today I got to climb Eagle Rock. That sentence was easy to type but hike up there was everything but easy. Either I am completely out of shape or my lungs are still not okay with the high altitude. The Eagle Rock campus itself is 8,535 feet high in elevation and Lord knows how much higher the tip top of the actual Eagle Rock is. I am always amazed when my lungs act properly and actually inhale and exhale air in the fashion in which God designed them to do so.

The view from the top was insanely beautiful and it was also insanely windy and cold as heck. But it was so totally worth every painful step to the top. LOVED IT. If I could hike that every weekend I think I would, but the state of my knees, thighs, calves, arms, and overall body is in such agony right now that I think my body would crumble if I tried it again anytime in the near future. However, God's creation was absolutely fantastic and breath-taking, both literally and visually. ;)

Kk, outreach prep is next week and I am excited. I am in SIX skits, which is a darn tootin' lot, but I am pumped...outreach is going to be AWESOME. My team is completely awesome and I am just so ready to set Haiti and the DR on fir for God. whoop whoop! :)

~Josie

(my freezing face & my home from the top)

Introverted Love

Sorry for the absence from my blog and the lack of updates. It's been super crazy and busy up here but I've been having a ball. So, for starters, this past week we had an awesome lady from the Lakeside, MT ywam base come down and speak for the week. She talked on relationships and it blew my mind, half the time i was just sitting there thinking 'oh dear heavens' just because she was so right on and full of wisdom. I really love how God is bringing just the right speaker and topic at just the time i need to hear it. The passion with which the Word is being brought and the zeal with which the truth is coming at me is melting my face off and it's awesome!

Anyway, so she, Kristy Wilkie, talked on everything under the sun when it comes to relationships and was so blunt and real with all of us, it was so refreshing. her black and white teaching method was exactly what I needed and God must have known that because this week rocked my world and the way I think about or treat relationships. At the end of every lecture week we have a time of reflection and this week for reflection we wrote a letter to God telling him what he can expect from us when it comes to relationships. So I basically promised God John 13:35 which says that the world will know you love and follow God if you love others. Surprising as it may be it's really hard for me to step out of myself and my fear of being rejected and love freely. But I want people to know God and know that he loves them and I've been given this exact love so all the more reason to step out of my bubble and love without fear.

One way that i have been stretched to practice this is on Friday nights when we go down to downtown Denver for what we call Kingdom Night. We seek God's face on what his heart is for Denver that night in particular and then go out and minister to the people in whatever way God leads. It was a challenge at first to go out and talk with people and just pray with them and it has gotten slightly easier but the fear of my introverted self is still around. But Kristy Wilkie this week said something that blew my socks off; she said that we have to be people of influence and we can't do that successfully if we stay shy. Basically, we have to lay down our right to being introverted because otherwise we'll never reach people the way God desires us to. True fact.

I'm really excited about what God is doing and where he is leading me. he is stirring up the fire that's burning inside of me and giving me opportunities to apply all he is teaching me. Like, no joke, it's been insane how many doors he's opened allowing me to experience and apply what he's teaching me. GOD IS SO GOOD.

On another note....my "h"' key no longer works. I have ctrl-v'd my way through this entire post and this entire sentence. It is slightly frustrating but it's slowly becoming habit....lol. I ordered a new keyboard today which i KNOW is going to make my typing much easier and my brain much less stressed out. I am allowed to be slightly dramatic about this...yea.

I'm currently sitting next to a toasty fire in the dining hall with awesome people all around. I love the people here, God has set me among such an awesome community of people, I am so extremely blessed. God is good all the time. . . .

~Josie

Update Mate

Today is Wednesday, but you could have told me otherwise and I would have believed you. My days have been thrown so off kilter that it's slightly unnerving. Schedules are generally my friend and routine in small doses is also nice, which is slowly making it's way back into my life. Hi, i'm slightly ocd about those kinds of things.

Anyway, so this past week or so has been a crazy whirlwind of fun, new people, new places, adventures, revelations, and insights. Last week we talked about Kingdom Culture and what that involved and how to apply it to our daily lives. The five basic parts of Kingdom Culture are intimacy, honor, gratitude, life in the Spirit, and family, which can all be broken down and expounded upon. For instance, my small group took the five and wrote down our own thoughts concerning a particular aspect and then what we could recall from what we got in lecture time. I got the word intimacy and broke it down basically to 'knowing love from another without the fear of judgement' and then related it back to Song of Songs 4:7 which talks of how God sees us without flaw or blemish. Which really is a beautiful picture. I love that book of the bible anyway.

This week, starting yesterday, was the official start of lecture week. We have a local pastor, Black Mattocks, coming up the mountain all week to talk about the nature and character of God and so far it has been insanely awesome! He's laying down the building blocks and introducing us to his character in a really cool way. He's very engaging and excited about what God has done and shown him in his life and about teaching it to us. I'm excited too, to be honest. Yesterday he was talking about how there are no posers in the Kingdom of God. We're not allowed to have walls or fake identities because we've declared that we have surrendered that to God if we also declare that we are His children. It reminded me of that scripture, I think it's in John, where it talks about how nothing is hidden from God, but everything is uncovered and laid bare before Him, which is exactly how we're supposed to be living before God and before the body of Christ and the world. He's called us to be His ambassadors and we can't do that if we're pretending we're someone or something that we're not. He sees through our disguises so might as well take them off and surrender them willingly to begin with. Can I get an "Amen"??! :D

Anyway, I will write of more exciting God things soon, but right now I am wiped out. This upcoming week, Monday through Wednesday, our whole DTS group plus the other four ywam bases in CO, which adds up to somewhere around 400 people will be in Colorado Springs. We're going to this conference called Acts 1 and it's supposed to be awesome. I'm expecting amazing things to come out of this next week...and these next five months. I'm stoked, guys...to the core. I miss you all back home and hope to keep you more updated. Love!

~Josie

I MADE IT TO COLORADO

Hullo. I have made it to Colorado and my ywam base in the mountains. It is beautiful and walking out my front door this morning and seeing the mountains like literally in my front yard was kind of surreal. Love it. The people here are also so wonderful. It set all of my worries, fears, and hesitations aside.

So, this is a short update because we just got done with a really long day and I'm about to go play settlers of catan. SETTLERS OF CATAN! With girls. Yeah, I totally picked the best dts school. <3

But here are a few pictures from our road trip to hold you over until I upload them over to Google+.

Miss you all!

Cheers!

I leave bright and early tomorrow morning. . . as in by 5am. The sun won't even be awake by then, which is a miracle. You should right this down in your diary of many secrets and wonders so that one day you may tell your kids and grandkids that Josie K. was up and awake with coffee in hand before the sun ever showed his face. ;) So, I'm driving out with my friend Anna and we're taking four days to drive out to the beautiful Colorado. I am so excited about this road trip! The second night we're staying in this cool place in New Mexico, which I can't say here because I'm keeping it as a surprise for Anna. muhaha. But it looks fabulous and makes me happy.

Our itinerary, if you care to know, is as follows:

Thursday -- leave Starkville, MS around 5am and drive West. Most likely reach Little Rock, AR by lunch and Apache, OK by 6pm. Apache, OK is our destination for the first day, we're staying at a ywam base's hospitality suit for the night.

Friday -- leave Apache by 8am and continue driving West. By this point we will have traveled through MS, AR, OK, and be heading into TX. We're planning to stop at every State sign and take a picture. It's going to be awesome. Ok, continue driving and eventually reach NM where we will spend the night in unsaid location.

Saturday -- leave by 8 or 9am and head North where we will travel through Starkville, CO....completely awesome. Pictures will be taken. Take slight detour to the Great Sand Dunes, which are reported to be really cool. Drive to Colorado Springs and bunk for the night.

Sunday -- Tour around Colorado Springs and just chill and hang out for the day. Hopefully go see the Garden of the Gods which are also reported to be really pretty. Sunday is up for change and fun.

Monday -- drive to Denver and send Anna back home on le airplane to MS. Most likely cry some more. Drive by myself to Arvada, CO where I will know no one and be spending the next 5 months of my life. Eeegads.

I'm freaking out just a little bit, but i'm mostly just getting ridiculously emotional. I was watching what not to wear and started tearing up. I mean...c'mon! These next two weeks are going to be long, weird, exciting, good, scary, and thrilling I do believe. I know I'm going to miss my family and friends immensely. But I also know God is loving and I know that He is good and I know that He has called me to this place at this time and that He will never leave me. And for all of those truths, I am extremely grateful.

So, here's to life more abundant and love without end. . . .to God and God alone be the glory! Psalm 115:1

~Josie

The Three P's

I'm unconsciously freaking myself out, I do believe. I have sixteen days until I depart on my glorious road trip to Denver with Smitty, which leaves me what feels like no time to do all the things on my list. Granted, my list is most likely bigger and more horrifying in my head than in writing, but it still causes slight anxiety in a girl.

1) Get eyes examined and new glasses (i think i'm nearsighted :-o )

2) Send in medical paperwork to get shots

3) Get three shots (yuck)

4) Move back home

5) Figure out packing woes

6) Change over electric and gas bills

7) Send off change of address form

8) Write many much thank you notes

9) Go on a bike ride with Gracie

10) Relax....yes, please? lol

Nothing to panic over...honest. It's nice to know that even though I have all of these things to "do," I don't have to worry. I'd like to worry because it somehow seems to make things more serious and important, but that's really just an illusion. God said not to worry, for a reason, which is often easier said than done... am I right? *sigh

But seriously, all of this is becoming more and more real, especially now that my countdown is in the teens, which is both exciting and nerve-racking. I guess taking leaps of faith will always feel something like this? I'm not sure, but do keep me in mind as I spend the next few weeks panicking, packing, and praying.

~me

1 Out Of 196

I'm so excited about my outreach destination come December! HE told me back in July which country, but now that it's reality and so closely tangible it's cool. . .and slightly weirding me out. I think I'm on a "this is too incredible to be real" cloud and that maybe I'll come down off of it at some point. Although, part of me doesn't mind being up here -- the view is quite nice and all.

So, because I am slightly ridiculous, here's a sneak peek of some nature from the fabulous country that'll I will be going to for outreach:

Booby Birds

The Huandoy Mt.

Alpacas

Cebu Cattle (see also veggie tales)

and The Amazon River & Rainforest

I'm going to Peru!!! Woohoo! I am really excited! It's going to be completely crazy and completely awesome and I almost can't wait. I don't know exactly where I'll be staying during the duration of my missionary travels, but I will inform you when that gets decided and announced when I get to Denver. My mother also so kindly informed/reminded me that anacondas also live in Peru. . .thanks mother dearest. Horror of horrors. I was doing some slight research since I don't really know where I'll be yet, but still, I found out that not only do that eat guinea pigs, which apparently everyone but I already knew, they also eat llamas. And they also make yarn out of Alpaca wool. I may have to get some of that for my cousin while I'm there. So now you know and can share in my excitement! Yay!

Yesterday I went to the lake in AL with G.C. and my brother and sister-in-law and had a most excellent time. We did some jumping off the dock and tubing behind the boat and sitting and chatting. The weather was really nice for it too. . .I'm pale, so the lack of sunshine and abundance of clouds was awesome in my opinion. I hate getting sunburned. We stayed in T-town and shopped and ate the foodsen for supper before G.C. and I headed home. Big Brother gives directions, Josie memorizes directions, G.C. drives. Somehow we get lost. We pull over on Shiver De Freeze Rd. (i kid you not!) to call Big Brother for rescue. After finally figuring out where the heck we were we find some county roads to take which will get us back to the main highway. . .eventually. It made for an interesting evening/drive which is always fun.

Currently listening to The National station on pandora which has been quite soothing on this rainy day. I'm wearing a sweatshirt and my toes have been freezing all morning. K.M. warmed my hands in church today and they have been toasty ever since! <3 I think I'm going to read some in Anne of Avonlea. . .i had to put it down during a potential crisis and I need to know what happens!

~me

"The Best Kind Of Prize Is A Sur-prize!"

Pssst!

The outreach locations have been set for my DTS.

Two options.

God knew the answer a month before the big reveal.

Basically, I know where I'm going on my outreach.

But it's more exciting told in person, so the blogger world will have to wait.

Also, I still need to tell my parents.

Yea. <3

~me

Today

My to-do list before i leave for YWAM next month seems to be piling higher and higher to an amount that almost scares me. It's silly things, too, like getting shots that are required, going to the dentist for a cleaning, getting my hair cut, making sure my car is in the most epic shape of its life, packing woes, etc. Basically, too much to do and not enough time, which is the story of our lives. Am i right? Yea...

So, aside from all of these preparations that have to be dealt with i also want to relax and spend more time with family and with friends and just revel in the community that i have and so very much love. At times i wish that i were eighteen again and that i could run around and be carefree with my friends 24/7, but then i'm reminded that i was still a teenager then....we won't go back there. No. Moving forward. . . . . .but this also basically adds up to too much to do and say and not enough time.

I'm pretty sure it's been said by more than one person at more than one time that they wished for just one more hour in the day. Like, how cool would that be! So, what would we do with this extra glorious hour? Perhaps we could go for that bike ride that we never can seem to squeeze in, or go visit with an old friend over coffee, or practice that instrument that you swear you never have time for, or....the list could go on forever.

But it's this, 24/7, way on purpose. We have a choice to make every morning we wake up what to do with the precious hours allotted to us. We have a choice to make the most of it or throw it away. We have the choice to spend it on worrying over every last detail of our lives or to spend it with HIM. We have the choice to complain or to praise every second of every hour of everyday. We have the choice to look at ourselves or to look up at HIM.

I'm not saying it's easy. Nothing good every comes the easy way. He promises hardships, which more than often is death to self and that is no easy task. But death to self is a daily decision, it's something we choose to walk in every moment that He's given us if we confess to love HIM. Basically, if we're surrendered to and walking with HIM then every moment is also His

~me

SIXTY-SEVEN DAYS

So, for those of you who do not yet know, that near panic attack about my "lost" YWAM application has been eased. It once was lost but now is found. . .hallelujah! Which also means that everything has now gone through and i have been accepted and am now counting down the days! (Sixty-seven, in case you're wondering). Basically, YWAM and things and people to do with YWAM is pretty much all i seem to talk about. Sorry! But i'm just so excited.

Ok, so get this, as i'm looking over some information in the online forum for the Fall DTS group i come across some understandable but kind of sorrowful information. My brain thought one thing, but facts were another. Apparently, when I leave in September i only get one break which i can choose to take or not at Thanksgiving, which is totally cool because it is in fact my FAVORITE holiday. The sorrowful thing is i'm going to have to wear my big girl face because i won't be home for Christmas. Sad panda. I will be overseas, which is completely awesome. . . just also completely out of my comfort zone. But the whole being out of my comfort zone is part of the point here anyway. Sure, it'll feel really strange to be gone during a major holiday for us, but i have to start sometime, right?

I am a major homebody which is going to make these five months interesting and difficult enough as it is, but then add in missing my FAVORITE holiday and Christmas and my sister-in-law's birthday and my dad's birthday and my mom's birthday. . . let's just say i reserve the right to shed a few tears. But in the end HE knows what HE's doing and i know it can only be good because HE is good. Let's just hope the next 67 days are full of peace and low on stress. Kk.

I want to leave you with some fun-ness. . .here's the link to the YWAM Denver website in case you want to check out where i'll be living in the Fall. Enjoy the photos!

~me

Short Note

Hullo. I have finally returned from yet another week of church camp. I was exhausted. Do notice the past tense of that sentence. Yea, i totally slept for thirteen hours last night. Wowzers, i know, but i'm pretty sure i needed it. Also, my adductor muscle hates me. At this camp there was a slip n' slide and at this slip n' slide there was a girl, this girl's name was Josie. As this girl slid her way down the slip 'n slide for the thousandth time she, in her attempt to avoid colliding with a small child, pulled her adductor muscle. Oh the joys of being an old lady. Putting on pants is now an accomplishment....sad, i know. But aside from that, the camp was wonderful. I met some great people and made some wonderful memories. Love it.

I bought a hammock. It was waiting for me on my front step when i arrived home from camp

yesterday. I. AM. SO. EXCITED. I've been wanting a hammock for what feels like a forever so i finally broke down and got one. Yay! I haven't used it yet, mainly because of the adductor muscle hiccup, but i have high expectations of it. I know we will become fast friends. Mine is blue, but here's a picture to give you an idea. . .

So, my anxiety is slowly building as the days go on. Why, you ask? Well, my application for YWAM that i sent off a month ago has not made it to the YWAM base. Is it lost? Is it at the wrong YWAM base? I have no idea. Hence the slight panic. Anyway, I say all this so that 1) you know and most importantly that 2) you will pray with me that it finds it's way to the correct YWAM base. HE is in control...always.

~me

Ridiculous Excitement

The doctor's office called this morning! I got my release form back and i mailed in my application to YWAM!! WHEEE! I am so very happy.

~me

Oh The Awkwardness That Is I. . .

So, progress of getting letters and applications mailed is going rather slowly. I had planned to have my application mailed in last Friday to YWAM, but my doctor was on vacation. That's the last thing i needed to submit my application. OHH the frustrations! Ok, so maybe I'm a wee bit dramatic? Nah. Who knew that a medical release form would take three weeks to complete? Like woah, i know. I'm going to not stress because i really have no control over it and stressing only causes my head to swirl. I'll hopefully be sending out my newsletter before i head off to camp. whoop!

I have mixed feelings about camp of champions this year. Reason number one being that they have moved the forever loved and treasured location from PBJ State Park to some camp ground in Alabama. The new place looks lovely, so that's not it, it's the fact that i am a major introvert and my 'safety blanket' and any form of familiarity has been snatched. Yay. It will be good for me, i know it will. Reason number two is that this year i am going as a staffer/counselor. This part makes me super excited and slightly nervous. I love working with teenagers and am looking forward to what the week will bring, i guess i'm just kind of anxious? You never know who is going to come or what HE is going to do or say, but that is exciting. Expectation is good. Also, prayers would be nice. :)

I got my "big girl" license today. YAY ME! I have been waiting for four long and picture-ugly years to redeem that horrid monstrosity called a license photo. Every time that i had to pull it out to show to a cop or bank teller or waitress i would cringe. If you were to see it then i am pretty sure you would understand and sympathize with me. Seventeen, bad hair cut, awkward, ghostly pale, cheese-tastic smile. Need i say much more? Goodbye vertical monster, hello horizontal awkwardness. .....What? Awkwardness never leaves, silly.

I'm moving to Colorado in three months. Three months, guys! Can i be happy and sad about this? Ok, good. The weather will be great and the fact that my fingers are always so cold won't be completely bizarre. Bonus points! But madam shy pants will most likely get homesick. Let's hope not, but it is likely. I am SO excited though. My newsletter is almost ready. All i have to do is one last revision and then print and stuff 70+ envelopes. I must be a dork because that part makes me so happy. I love snail mail.

Revelation of the day: coffee tastes good with just about everything but it tastes tremendously delicious when paired with banana nut muffins. Om nom nom!

~me