Like A Drum. . .

There is an aching in my belly and a stirring in my soul to write of the wonderful chaos that seems to be swirling inside of me, yet I can find no words. They seem to have been all but used up by the poets and writers who've come before me and who've put what I am feeling into words more beautifully scripted than I could ever dare compose. Yet I need to express it, somehow, someway, in some exquisite form or another, so as to convey to the small world around me the joys and fears that build with each passing day.
I am discovering what makes me come alive and that I am loved and lovely just as I am and have to change for no one. I am capable of much and yet still in need of much grace and wisdom as I travel along in life with the people who are here to travel with me. My dreams and desires are so much bigger than I can even handle on some days, I often think that they are tremendously silly and impossible, questioning if they will be fulfilled or if I will have someone beside me to fulfill them with. This journey is never certain, the people you travel with are never guaranteed to stick around the entire length of the trek, but you travel and press on just the same. You meet new strangers who soon become friends, and maybe something more, you invest your time, risk being vulnerable, and challenge yourself and them to dream bigger and live to a higher standard and calling with beautiful expectations and hopes on the horizon because to hell with it if we're not. There are always new books to read, places to see, people to meet and learn to love, oceans to swim, and dreams to be chased - - the journey doesn't ever end until we're dead. So I am trying to make the most of it, trying not to miss out on the beauty and the mystery of life, yet all the while being extremely terrified and nervous of the next bend in the road. How will it make my heart beat? Will I be able to handle the fierce drumming of stumbling upon something or someone lovely? or even the plummeting sensation of discovering something beautifully painful or terrifyingly risky? I still don't know and may never know. But I have to travel, I have to explore, I must take risks, be daring and bold, courageous and free, otherwise I will suffocate in my need to see and experience all the beauty there is to behold. . . in love.

A&E......anxiety & excitement

Things that cause panic and mini anxiety attacks:

--checking on the flight status for 7 travelers that leave for another country in two days and not being able to find any of the information you need, calling the airline service in a panic to sort out details, then calming down because you've realized you accidentally put in the flight number for the second flight, not the first. Computers cannot read minds nor correct silly mistakes automatically. 

The moral of this story is, "calm down and double check your digits."


There is a very well balanced mixture of anxiety and excitement swirling about inside me as I and my lovely group of girls prepare to travel to the beautiful country of Guatemala. There is no way that this time last year I would have ever thought that I'd be doing this or traveling there. I am learning that when you set really big dreams and goals, even ones you think are outlandish and impossible, that God is still faithful to see that they happen, that those dreams get fulfilled. He knows the desires of our hearts, He put them there in the first place, we simply must learn to hand all of those desires and dreams back into His hands in order for them to come to fruition. These are the truths I am discovering. 

I have no idea what or who we will encounter or what the ministry times will look like, however I know how good the Father is and I am expecting Him and Him alone. I just want Him to work, Him to speak, and Him to move in all situations and in every heart because that is all that counts and all that matters. His glory is our goal. 

Instruction Manual is MIA

This year has been interesting and challenging to say the least. I have learned both the right and wrong ways to do many certain things, which is probably the best way to learn anything, by experience, but definitely not the most fun way. This has made me not only realize the need but also desire to have an older, wiser, more experienced individual leading us younger ones along. There is a reason that the Bible says "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness," because they have walked more abundant roads, seen more of life and people and have taken paths that led to nowhere sometimes, but this and more is what makes them so incredibly invaluable to you and I. (Proverbs 16.31)

Ask questions, don't be shy to call them up and talk about worries, fears, joys, and hopes, ask them to tell stories, share their experiences both good and bad, and just simply listen and learn. Because the best lessons are never taught in a 50x30 room with a whiteboard, rows of desks, and pen and paper, rather lessons are best taught in everyday, simplistic, enthralling life while conversing with friends and family about it all. I wish life were that simple and freeing.. But then again maybe it can be and we just haven't figured that yet.

I want to know all the answers. For goodness sake, where is life's instruction manual??! Because we all know that learning by experience most always means looking like a fool in some way in front of many someones. It never fails. I also have a guilty and judgmental complex, if that's even a thing, where I wholeheartedly believe that a) everyone hates me for getting it wrong and I have therefore ruined all of their happiness in life because I didn't do it right and will feel bad for it until I die and b) they all think the absolute worst of me and pick me apart piece by piece, deciding what else I am capable of ruining and will do so until I die. Looking like a fool never hurt so good! ha Also, I should probably be kinder on myself and humankind as a whole.

So I guess now that I have learned a thing or two about what to do and not do in recent situations and circumstances, I can add that to my pocket book of knowledgeable things I will be able to teach or share one day with the select few who will probably listen. So please, when I am old and have a head of gray hair remember me fondly and send me some snail mail or call me. Mama Jo knows best, eh. *wink wink* In the mean time I'll gather from the wisdom storehouses of the individuals I meet along this beautiful journey so I can add to them and later pour them out once again on the next generation.

His Nearness Is Our Good

Have you ever taken a sip of your drink thinking it was perhaps sweet tea only to find out upon that first swig that you had actually poured yourself sprite instead? Startling isn't it? There is nothing more surprising than expecting one thing and instead getting something completely different, whether that be in drink beverage or in life. Most people don't like surprises, it makes them uncomfortable and nervous usually because they didn't have a part in the planning or orchestrating of it, therefore they obviously don't know what's coming. Rough, I know.

I have been surprised over and over again as of late by not only myself, but also others and most of all by God. There seems to be this lesson that I am in need of learning which is to expect God and Him alone. Not to expect my plans or my co-laborers plans or my teams plans or the pastors plans or the groups plans, but to expect Jesus. Just Jesus, in every circumstance.

Expecting the King means laying down our will, our way, and our rights in order that He be properly exalted and enthroned in our hearts and in our lives. The thing about that is that it's not easy, but that is another good aspect about the Father; He hasn't called us to walk an easy road but just to follow Him. He doesn't burden us but does offer to carry the burdens we and others have put upon our own backs. He doesn't call us to fish for men and speak the truth in love because that's simple and easy, but He calls to do that because He first loved us, He first gave all He had to us.

There is something tender and humbling when we reach the point where we realize He is worth more than our current dismal and trying circumstances. He is a better sight than wherever we may have chosen to set our gaze that isn't Him. He is worthy of being expected in the mundane as well as in the extraordinary events of our life, whether we feel it or not. Because regardless of how we feel He is still and always will be worthy of our praise and adoration.

I do not write this because I have it figured out or have mastered the art of honoring Him with every breath I take, but because I see His strength in my weakness and know that I need Him ever more. His nearness is our good. Expect Him and never be dismayed or disappointed for He is King of kings and LORD of lords, there in none like Him.

~Josie

Steady On

The faithfulness of the Lord is something that I will never cease to be amazed by.

It's been just over a year since I started my last school, Phase II, with YWAM Denver. I had no idea at the time what God had in mind, what He was preparing me for down the road or where He'd be leading me at the end of those 3 sweet and beautiful months. I am learning, yet again, that when you expect Jesus you don't leave disappointed. Hallelujah. During those 3 months God laid so many wonderful and challenging things on my heart to do, He reminded me of my dreams and desires and gave me new ones as well. He challenged me as an individual to step into my calling to lead and challenge others to seek His face through whatever means possible. Many of the teachers who came through that school encouraged us to dream bigger and pursue the impossible, knowing that it can be made possible with God by our side. They provoked us to consider what was important to us and why and caused us to see and understand that that was also important to God. Knowing that the little or big issues that are on my heart are also on His heart gives me such hope, peace, perseverance and encouragement, and a desire to continue to press into His presence so that I may know Him more.

One of things pressing strongly on my heart for the past 11 months has been my hometown of Starkville. There are broken people everywhere, not just here, but this is where God has called me and this is where I am investing my heart and myself in every way I know how for this season of my life. When I came back last July I was devastated and lost as to what to do or where to even begin with bringing the Kingdom and love of God to these people. Everything always looks and sounds so much more clear and doable from 1,000 miles away than it does when it's right in front of your nose. But now, 9 months later, I am discovering the beautiful faithfulness and power of God in a whole new way. Doors have been opened and are continuing to open in unexpected ways through unexpected circumstances and people, which can only mean that God is moving and proving Himself faithful to His promises. It's always so reassuring to know that God is where we are and in what we're doing when we step out and obey. Obedience has its rewards.

I don't know what the next 6-12 months are going to look like; although I have ideas, plans, visions and expectations I can only hope that God has bigger and better ones. I just know that He is making a way and pulling the puzzle pieces together bit by bit and He won't relent until we are fully His -- until Starkville is fully His. I am not sure why He has picked me to help in this task of stirring up the waters, so to speak. There is no better explanation than He is God and He does what He wants, He uses the weak to shame the strong and He deserves all the glory in that. All of it.

Pray with me as I continue to listen and follow where He leads in regard to 1)the city of Starkville 2)establishing a house of prayer 3)leading a young girls Bible study 4)preparing for and leading a mission trip to Central America.

As the Moravian brothers declared, "May the Lamb who was slain receive the reward of His suffering!"


~Josie Lewis

Unedited Ramblings

It's been a decade or something.
I know.

Life goes on. Perhaps not as I envisioned it to be, but nonetheless, it goes on.
My year with YWAM was more than incredible and much needed. Toward the end of my Phase II school this past Spring I began writing down my dreams and visions for life and the future and asking God what He wanted me to do and where he was leading me next. I knew what I wanted to do, if I had had my way I would have stayed in Denver almost indefinitely with YWAM, but I don't regret where God has taken me and what He's doing. Which brings me to my next step, where He called me, which was back home to Starkville, MS. Hesitation and denial were a few of my first impulses, but I knew it wasn't me or my silly mind playing tricks on me. I had a peace about coming home, maybe not completely clear direction or understanding as to why He was calling me home, but I've come to learn that He doesn't reveal all things at once. Life is a process, we have to unwrap it and go with the flow and as we do things will begin to make sense. Which they have.
Things I knew I was to do upon coming back: 1)start a prayer room/group for the community of believers in Starkville. 2)lead another Bible study and lead an outreach off of it to South or Central America. 3)co-labor with God to bring revival to Starkville.

Am I crazy? maybe. Do I care that people think that or don't fully understand me? no.
I'm here on God's errand, not man's, so of course it's not going to look normal or "right" by other standards or even sound realistic or practical. I am but one, but I am not alone.
More than once I have wanted to run back to the beautiful Rocky Mountains I call home, or fly to another country and simply stay there, but just like Esther, I know that God has placed me here for a specific agenda and purpose and if I don't walk in his will and do as He's called me to, He will pick someone else. Courage is growing, as is patience and hope. My timing is nowhere near the timing of the Lord's....nowhere near it.
I just finished planting a few things for this spring, some herbs, veggies and flowers. They're currently sitting in the kitchen windowsill freshly watered and gathering in sunlight. I know it's unrealistic and silly but I've already had the urge, more than once, to run over there and see if they've sprouted anything in the last 4 hours. There is a germination stage and a growing stage which are both obviously necessary before there can be a harvesting stage for these plants. I've gardened for years, I know the process and the toil, trial and error it takes to produce exactly what you want from your garden. However, it is much harder to take that truth and apply it to real life circumstances. It is much harder to pioneer things with people than with plants. Let's just be real.

But nonetheless, here I am, with no idea of what I'm doing. But seriously. Sometimes, actually most of the time, I'm pretty sure there are other people out there who are much more capable and qualified of doing this task than I am, but then we can just go back to that saying that God qualifies the called, not the reverse. Which seems pleasant in retrospect, but in reality it's rather scary because that means he throws you into the situation and then gives you the ammunition and strength needed to get through it. Learn as you go, grow as you go.
These are my thoughts, these are a few of my dreams.
Pray with me as I prep for leading a short term outreach to Central America this summer.
Here's to the unknown and looking foolish for you know Who.

~Josie K. Lewis

Extraordinary.

Ordinary is far from ideal, far from the wild and extravagant dreams and desires I carry deep within my soul. Desires to soar high, run free and do the unthinkable because not doing it would cause me to whither away. Striving for the attainable would be the end all, there would be no gold medals given at the end of the day, no prize to be awarded or trophies to be expected. We would all be taught to just breath. Because that's attainable.
There is a constant beating against my ribs, a pulsing through my body that begs and longs for something greater and more ambitious. That beat longs to be met with the rhythm of adventure and risk, it longs to be challenged and confronted with new possibilities. That beat won't stop, it mustn't. Make music, be loud with the life you have. Carry that beat inside of you to the ends of the earth and back, then when you have done so we can all hear the melody that pulses through your core.

New

Sometimes others words say things better than words from my own mouth. . .


"I wonder if I'll ever find my way.
I wonder if my life could really change, at all.
All this earth..
Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come up from this ground, at all?

You make beautiful things,
You make beautiful things out of dust.
You make beautiful things,
You make beautiful things out of us.

All around,
Hope is springin up from this old ground.
Out of chaos, life is being found in You.

You make me new,
You are making me new.
You make me new,
You are making me new."

-- Gungor