1 am ramblings

Church.
Lunch with the family and G.C.
naps are swell.
endless studying for Sci Fi midterm.
tacos.
school.
The Wesley with Addy.
"HE is good"
YOGA! -- "open up your heart!"
home schoolers. . . ugh.
bagging-of-the-leaves endeavor.
more school.
bible study. :)
good talks over coffee.
thunderstorm!
procrastination studying is always a fail.
polikwaptiwa gets new brakes.
lunch at the bagel with friends.
total hours of sleep for the week: 4hr/night.
prayer walk.
more bagels.
quirky attitude.
sci fi movie and BURGERS.
Church.
met a lovely new couple.
got asked if i had graduated high school yet. *sigh!*
birthday lunch.
study + nap?
need more spice.


i have decide i need to cook more. lots more. frozen dinners just don't cut it for me. also, where is my brownie fairy? need brownies. i miss my camera. i know that sounds like a weird statement but it's true. it's lonely and it needs to be used. do i have any volunteers for practice photo shoots? ha The little brother is next in line. bo staff + James + a camera can only mean that amazing things will happen. true. I have my second biology test on tuesday. d-r-e-a-d-i-n-g it! if only i were good at test-taking...it would make my gpa look a heck of a lot nicer. but so it is.

~Me

Walking Is Hard

Shin splints. They are evil and i would like it very much if they would stop happening. I think it must be the way i walk. I must walk funny. Or hard. Maybe i stomp? Whatever i do it has got to change. I found a campus bike today, but sadly (this is the part where you feel really bad for me) it was after i had walked all the way back across campus after my last class in agony and had almost made it to my car. I didn't care. I took it around the block and then peddled back to my initial destination. It made for a ridiculous yet fun trip.

I had a conversation with a classmate today about coffee. It all started with me walking across campus to my next class holding my coffee. He recognized me by my "curly hair and the fact i was holding coffee." Awesome. We discussed the effects of coffee and how much is too much, if there is even such a thing, and when you know you're an addict. He = noobie. I = veteran. I will teach the ways of drinking coffee...he needs lessons, he mentioned the forbidden word: decaf. I love coffee, in case i chance failed to mention that previously.

Also, i love dinosaurs and so then have decided for my upcoming birthday that i want a dinosaur cake. I think it would be awesome and appropriate...yea. I mean double-numbers are a big deal! The last time i had double-number birthday was when i was 11, so this double-number birthday calls for loads of fantastic ridiculousness! Aren't these amazing?


~Me

Compact

This is me and studying in a nutshell. Sadly.
:)

Mountains, Here I Come. . . !

I always seem to blog when i should be studying. Is this a problem. Most likely, yes. But the reading was getting boring and i was starting to fall asleep...again.

Well it snowed. Again. At least five whole inches and it was marvelous. Some friends and i went sledding at one of the only hills in town and had a blast. When can i move to the mountains?? The last time i remember sledding i was seven and in Montana.
The kids all sled down the hill on our butts in a train-like formation. I remember running into a tree more than once. That was also the only time i have ever been skiing. I ran into a building that time. I must have skills. Perhaps moving to a snowy climate would be a brutal decision? I loved Montana though, it was ridiculously beautiful and open. Miss it. Also, i would blend in! How cool would that be? I could be like the snow queen from Narnia...minus the evil schemes and bad temper of course.

I sent off my letter and admission packet to USM a few weeks ago. This one lady had to call me a few times to get things sorted out and send her more stuffs, but she was so pleasant. I appreciated her and her niceness because of my nervousness. *Anxiety overload!!* I have no clue when i will hear back from them and moreover i have no idea what i'll do when i get accepted. MOVE AWAY!? ahh. Hullo, i am a major introvert. Also, this raises a million questions as to where i'd live, with whom, how i'd support myself, etc. Nursing school kind of frightens me but i will conquer if they dare give me the chance. If not, i'm moving to Turkey.


~Me

Discovery Chanel

I currently feel like an old woman. Heat packs, ice packs, pain pills, and naps. What has happened to my body? I think i have begun to fall apart prematurely which does not leave me with a good feeling about what another 20 years will bring. AH! Perhaps my body needs a dose of adventure to cure its aches and pains. Rock climbing? Water rafting? Or would this make it worse? A greater part of me just says "who cares!" My bones can take it; i've never broken one so they have nothing against me and aren't likely to snap on me. So there.

Sometimes school can be dumb. But a lot of the time school can be cool. I guess that would make my relationship with school a love-hate one? Makes sense. I just want to graduate. As a nurse. Is that so much to ask? I didn't think so. Applications are in the process of being filled out and mailed. I know that in this day and age it is respectful and critical that one have a job with a steady income. Totally understandable. Money doesn't grow on trees, etc. BUT SCHOOL?!! Why? Why is it frowned upon if you put off your education or travel amidst the learning for awhile? Why do we feel we must live up to society's expectations and the worlds demands of how we should act, learn, love, behave, or just LIVE? Since when do 'they' get to have a say or thought in what i do.


I want to take a semester off again and travel, go on mission trips, and just explore the world with my own two hands and eyes instead of through someone else's interpretation through a textbook or whatever. Yes, trip[S], as in multiple ones. I want a door to just swing wide and loudly open before me so i can wildly go running through it. Call me crazy, call me dumb, call me ridiculous and naive, i don't care. There are almost SEVEN BILLION people in this world. There are ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY-FIVE countries. There are too many mountains to hike and rivers to ride and roads to explore. I have to go. I have to discover. I want to. I need to.

~Me

Cranberries!

Banana bread and coffee are being consumed. Delicious. Listening to the Cranberries and Jimmy Eat World. oh yea, happy new year! And i had just gotten used to writing "2010" and saying "twenty-ten" not "oh-ten". Now i have to start all over? le sigh.

Favorite lesson learned in 2010: Yielding to HIM brings both peace and joy. It is most rewarding in every regard. I could name off a handful of examples, but the point here is HE is good in all HE does. I am such a control freak, so when i don't know what's going on or if i can't see what's up ahead i get antsy and frustrated. HE knows that. HE wants that. If i profess to love HIM then my response to "go" or "say" or "do" this or that should be "yes!" without hesitation or a second look back. To love HIM means to heed to HIS voice, however quiet a whisper it may be. I always start off thinking that my plans are great and they will work out just right and things will be smooth and lovely because i am HIS. But that is only true if i am listening and obeying HIM. There is this great quote from Elisabeth Elliot that says, "I know no prayer other than 'Thy will be done'." How awesome would it be if we could live out that prayer...second by second, in the big things and the little things. Yielding my will to HIS will was probably one of the more painful yet rewarding experiences i have gone through. EMBRACE THE RELEASE.

I still have my Christmas lights up. Are there Christmas decoration fairies who will come and haunt me since it's now January? I put up a tapestry in my living room. It's big -- maybe 9'x4'? My mom had it in her apartment when she was in college. She used as a room divider, i use it as wall art. It's lovely. I like people. They're fun and different and come in so many varieties; kind of like jelly beans. I have this habit of inserting random CD's of my roommates into the stereo. Currently Playing: Broken Social Scene. I like it.

~Me

Christmas Miracles Are Present

Went to sleep Christmas eve night after a lovely read and woke up the next morning to the little sister busting in my room at 8 am screaming at my very asleep self "IT'S SNOWING!!" We live in Mississippi, so as you can imagine this is a once in a lifetime event. It was definitely one of HIS quite humorous acts -- seeing as how it was about 40 degrees when it was snowing and it stuck. Christmas miracle.
My cousins come in tomorrow. I am bursting with excitement. We're in the process of trying to figure out what to do, however. It is Winter in Mississippi...there isn't much activity or scenery. IDEAS needed! We are doing a photo shoot though, Jordan and Rose graduate in May and have been begging to do one for when they come down. This will be an adventure for sure.

I'm in the process of writing an essay for admittance to nursing school. It is a pain. There must be an easier way. I think i may have to spill all of my nursing ambitions, hopes, and aspirations and then add some humor. They will be reading a lot of essays, might as well have a laugh in the midst of it all, yea? This is like my life or death paper, which is somewhat frightening, but i'm not panicking. Too badly. It's due before the 15th. Pressure is on. Where's my coffee?

~Me

Does Curiosity Only Kill The Cat?

I'm having "i feel lonely" symptoms. I don't know where they arose from but alas they are readily present. Maybe it's the time of the year that does this to me? But i think it may be just reality setting in. 2 months. No regrets. Just anxious?

I went to a lovely wedding over the weekend. It was fairytale-esque. I have always loved going to weddings. I love seeing the couple meet eyes, hearing their vows, and seeing the beautiful dresses and bouquets. But this time it wasn't as magical. This time it made me sad more than anything. The "what if" questions of every kind flooded my head and resulted in me laying awake in bed that night unable to sleep. Will i be that old lady with frizzy hair, a turtle named Charles and the author of 7,000 books? Will i ever find that one guy who i dare give my heart to? Will i be satisfied if i don't? Perhaps the answer can only be found in the waiting.
...However long that may be.

~ME