Coffee Fairy

Tuesday i spent the greater half of the day and on into the night writing. Monday too, but Tuesday is what drained me. My final test and 10 page paper were due on Wednesday morning and i was scrambling to get the finishing touches on my paper. Grr. I stayed up until 5 am Wednesday morning and got up at 6:20am. I dreamed of literature and woke up with Joanna Newsom's song inflammatory writ stuck in my head. i kid you not. Took the test, the essay part was brutal. I think i did terrible. One hour of sleep will do things like that to you. However, teacher gave us a grace period to turn in our papers -- 5pm Thursday. THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! It made life look a little brighter. At one point while i was taking that exam and scribbling away on paper i realized that i had more or less been continuously writing for the past 12 hours. People, that is not cool. My brain has reached its limit i'm afraid. hoorah?

I have a Dr. for a sister now. She's so cool. Graduation was yesterday afternoon and it was far from boring but definitely long. 73 new Dr.'s. The storm blowing through took out the power on campus and all over S-ville. Made for a weird experience, especially the reception since it was at the V-school. c-r-e-e-p-y. Chats with Mr. G about missions and working with kids. Caught me off guard some. J.H. Ranch.

Youth Church practice at La's and Rudy's. Utilizing the daylight. Pro. Hunger pains were attacking the majority of the crew. Plan of action was put into play. Grilled the foodsen and ate by candle light. The stars....oh the stars were beautiful. Won't get that kind of a view in the middle of town ever again. G.C. goes home to where there is power. 2 papers left to finish. Sorrows. Little sis spent the night, she was sort of stranded.

And now that i have been successful at procrastinating.... i guess i'll get to work on finishing that horrid paper. yikes! wish me luck and stuff...or the abundance of creative juices.

Where is my coffee fairy when i need her?

~me

The Things That Are Exciting

Finals are upon us. In all the fullness of finals. The stress and dumbness and lack of sleep has hit an unnerving high. Literally. The fact that my eye has been in constant twitch mode for a week now cannot be a good sign. No, it just can't. I went over to Gracie's house last night. I walked in the door and she looked at me and immediately offered me coffee. Yea, it's that bad. I'm afraid i might start the zombie apocalypse here soon. So basically if i can make it through to Wed at 5pm central time, alive mind you, I will be ok.
I hope.
So, in other news................................i want to keep it a secret but really, most everyone who reads this blog already knows, so what the heck! I am quitting my job on Friday the 13th of May (ironic, huh?). This seems dumb but i promise i have an explanation. I do. So, this summer = a LOT of changes. People are moving away and basically it sucks. I'm possibly going to be a counselor at COC (yayay) and get to go to the beach with G.C. which leaves me no time to really work. I'd have to take off like every weekend which isn't allowed. PLUS, i'd like to be able to see and hang out with my friends before they leave and before i leave.
Wait what!? Did i just say "i leave"...? Yea. Don't make me repeat myself, kid.
Here's the deal-eo: YWAM. I probably mentioned something about this last year, maybe not, but it's been on my heart for awhile. YWAM stands for Youth With A Mission and is focused on discipling others and then training them to go out and do the same. The lecture phase is 3 months, which is short, but for me it'll be like 12,000 years because i have been prone to get homesick in the past. Maybe that's because i was dying in the Atlanta airport though? Yea...
Let's just say i am ridiculously excited! I still don't yet know where i will be located but i'm waiting. HE is in control and HE loves me, which is comforting beyond measure. I love seeing HIS hand working in my life and HIS timing...oh my gosh HIS timing is always the best. HE is good. I am blessed.
Expecting.

~me

Show Me Your Dance Moves

I AM JUST SO EXCITED ABOUT LIFE RIGHT NOW!! DON'T ASK ME WHY, I MIGHT TELL YOU LATER BUT IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER!! I'M JUST SO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O SUPER STOKED!! WAHOOOO!
also, i do not have an enthusiastic personality... eckhmm. :D

yes. . . . that excited!

~me

Wheeee!

Secret plans. . . .

muhaha

Lovely

Heck yes -- Monday:
early to rise -- it's hard
studying at the Bagel
work was boring -- minus the one regular couple
i think i did productive things later
...i can never remember mondays

Tuesday:
classes
freak out about quiz in SF ...no quiz (thank you!)
meeting with SF professor -- i may or may not have said something stupid
free day in psychology = sweet
the bakery is my new favorite place to be
studystudystudy
misunderstandings are dumb
Dooeys -- ridiculous and awesome convos
frozen yogurt has a special place in my heart
...ran into psych prof. -- we hang out at the same places. ha
CATAN -- camels. that's right.

Wednesday:
work -- i love the regulars, they just make me happy.
dentist evaluation -- wisdom teeth come out May 2nd!
...also, i'm NOT going under. woah
index cards
government is important yet boring.
Bible study prep. :)

Thursday:
no coffee
classes -- dear 6:45am, i do not love you... -me
cramstudycramstudy
band-aid conversations
govt. test
major headache onslaught
bible study -- longer than usual but good [<3]
biology homework -- fell asleep on the couch

Friday:
wake up early to work on that bio homework
rain -- why is it raining? whhhhhhyyy.
rode to class with G.C.
walked to class in the rain -- gave up on staying the least bit dry
sat in bakery to read war of the worlds...
tornado sirens -- very chill dudes: "that's just a firetruck...yea."
led to the tunnels under campus -- i love the tunnels
escaping and coaxing G.C. to escape too and meet me
plan worked
McCool Hall -- the laughing people, we loved them
City Bagel [<3 <3]
B. sat with us -- nice chat, new news
nap FTW!
work
taxes online
fell asleep on couch again

Saturday:
prayer walk
bagel cafe
work -- tips are so nice
buffy the vampire slayer -- Sid
K. is cute when it gets scary
cookie craving = satisfied
fell asleep on the floor...
also, i'm OK with this:

Sunday:
slept later than usual
yayayay
still managed to be late
*sigh*
guest speaker. . .
testing
lunch with the kids -- i love us :)
i also love olives
waitress lady recognized me from work -- we chatted about frustrating and confused customers. i think we bonded. it was awesome.
paper writing
i am going to make it. . . .i think
school, end soon please...kthanks

~me

Just So You Know. . .

I love cheese. It's true.


Also, God is good and faithful, even when we are not. There are many things I'd like to do or get accomplished or see flourish, but HE has the final say in it all. HE chooses the path and all HE asks of us is to trust HIM with the rest. Faith conquers fear. This is also true.

~me

Panda

Today has been good.
Waitressed until my feet hurt and then went home.
Small chats with Dad.
Waiting till my gas gauge got to "1 mile" before i was on E.
Picnic at the winery with my book.
Silence.
Mr. Dinosaur's birthday.
Short and nice chats.
Can i have a dog, please?
Wishing i had ridden my bike today.
Tomorrow will have to make up for it though.
10 page paper is looking more and more daunting.
Did i pick the right book?!!? :-/
Fable. Watching.
Dragon Age, i will see you soon.....promise.
I miss my short hair.
Almost a year since last major cut.

So, as soon as school lets out at the end of this month (HURRAH!!) i am going to be spending my time filling out 9,000 applications for nursing school. Deadlines for Spring admission is in September, so i'm hoping to get them out by July. I can overcome procrastination if i try. It's true. Also, being sneaky, i'm planning to fill out a DTS (Discipleship Training School) admission packet. Both as a backup and because i really want to.

Explosions In The Sky concert over the weekend was completely wonderful. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. Going to see a band in concert generally always bumps up my approval and admiration for them. They were spectacular live and we had grand seats in the balcony. Pro. Drive = PETA, snails pace, gummy worms, rear ending other cars, God's grace, reading, silly talks, "52 degrees!", prom, whispers, G.C. makes me laugh.


Also. . . .I REALLY want to go to the zoo, btw. So desperately. Let's go.....please.


~me

Note To Self

Walking should not be this complicated. And it's not, i think i just make it complicated. HE says do this, go here, say that, and all we are called to do is say "yes" and then walk. But like i said, walking is hard. I get tired of walking and tired of never seeing fruit, tired of never seeing the point. HE called me to something, but i don't get why or what for. Was i supposed to do something else, nothing at all...did i miss a detail in there somewhere?

This blog probably sounds either 1) really whiny, 2) really depressing or 3)dumb. I don't care at the moment. Judge me all you want. Do it. It won't get you far, i promise. Maybe it's the season i'm in, maybe it's my self absorbed attitude. most likely.

God doesn't call us to be happy, he calls us to be joyful. There is a difference. God also calls us to be obedient not guilt-tripped or ignorant. Shy is not a personality trait, it's an excuse. Get over it. Affirmation doesn't come from a nod, smile, joke or acknowledgement from someone else. It comes from God. Being invisible isn't a nice feeling. Neither is being ignored or ignoring others. Full circle. That just happened.
Where have you planted your feet? Are you walking in circles or straight ahead? Look UP...not in a mirror.