Ridiculous Excitement

The doctor's office called this morning! I got my release form back and i mailed in my application to YWAM!! WHEEE! I am so very happy.

~me

Oh The Awkwardness That Is I. . .

So, progress of getting letters and applications mailed is going rather slowly. I had planned to have my application mailed in last Friday to YWAM, but my doctor was on vacation. That's the last thing i needed to submit my application. OHH the frustrations! Ok, so maybe I'm a wee bit dramatic? Nah. Who knew that a medical release form would take three weeks to complete? Like woah, i know. I'm going to not stress because i really have no control over it and stressing only causes my head to swirl. I'll hopefully be sending out my newsletter before i head off to camp. whoop!

I have mixed feelings about camp of champions this year. Reason number one being that they have moved the forever loved and treasured location from PBJ State Park to some camp ground in Alabama. The new place looks lovely, so that's not it, it's the fact that i am a major introvert and my 'safety blanket' and any form of familiarity has been snatched. Yay. It will be good for me, i know it will. Reason number two is that this year i am going as a staffer/counselor. This part makes me super excited and slightly nervous. I love working with teenagers and am looking forward to what the week will bring, i guess i'm just kind of anxious? You never know who is going to come or what HE is going to do or say, but that is exciting. Expectation is good. Also, prayers would be nice. :)

I got my "big girl" license today. YAY ME! I have been waiting for four long and picture-ugly years to redeem that horrid monstrosity called a license photo. Every time that i had to pull it out to show to a cop or bank teller or waitress i would cringe. If you were to see it then i am pretty sure you would understand and sympathize with me. Seventeen, bad hair cut, awkward, ghostly pale, cheese-tastic smile. Need i say much more? Goodbye vertical monster, hello horizontal awkwardness. .....What? Awkwardness never leaves, silly.

I'm moving to Colorado in three months. Three months, guys! Can i be happy and sad about this? Ok, good. The weather will be great and the fact that my fingers are always so cold won't be completely bizarre. Bonus points! But madam shy pants will most likely get homesick. Let's hope not, but it is likely. I am SO excited though. My newsletter is almost ready. All i have to do is one last revision and then print and stuff 70+ envelopes. I must be a dork because that part makes me so happy. I love snail mail.

Revelation of the day: coffee tastes good with just about everything but it tastes tremendously delicious when paired with banana nut muffins. Om nom nom!

~me

Belly Of A Fish

I remember when the Veggie Tales version of the story of Jonah came out in the theater. I went to go see it with my two best friends, we were thirteen, giddy and got the best seats in the house. It was a cute movie with a good message and memorable songs sung by vegetables. But the story of Jonah is so much more than a tale about a giant fish who swallowed a man only to spit him back up three days later.

The story of Jonah is also my story. I'd rather be likened to another character in the Bible like Samuel or David or perhaps even Moses, but Jonah it is. There is this thing I don't like called the unknown. Also conflict. That too. But yea, not knowing what comes next or how or WHY is something quite scary, in my opinion. Stepping outside of my comfort zone and deciding that what HE has asked of me is more important than my ridiculous concerns and fears. But alas, I am like poor ol' Jonah, I look at the task or request and I run full speed ahead...in the opposite direction. There is some phrase about facing your fears, it's good advice, but I like to be different from the pack; I like to run from my fears. HE says do this, go here, speak that and my flesh will not die. I am like a disease to my own self. Insane, I know.

Jonah didn't have Nineveh in his plan, it wasn't on his regular route and I'm sure he hoped it never would be. We don't get to plan our destinations or the routes by which we get there. The only option we have is to obey or not to obey. Do we do it HIS way or do we turn our backs and run in our own way? Which one do you think brings the greatest amount of satisfaction? On this journey of HIM revealing to me that I am more and more like Jonah than I was at first willing to accept, I have realized that even though I may run there is no place HE is not. David in the Psalms said,

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, and settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast (139:7-10)."

I can try for the rest of my days to run from HIM if I so desire, but it achieves nothing and it hurts because I know that if HE has called me somewhere then HE only means good by it. So perhaps I will save my legs and my breath and run the direction HE has placed before me because I know that submission and obedience bring joy and peace.

Hopefully I won't need a giant fish to swallow me before it completely clicks...

~Josie