Coffee > School

Here's a thing that boggle my mind: people who love school to death.
I would have loved to be one of those people but sadly i am not. The semester is slowly rounding down and my nerves are shooting up. I should learn not to panic. I should also learn to stay ahead in my studies. I'll let you know when i succeed with either. I have to find a science fiction novel to do a TEN page paper on. ACK! I am a slow reader...remind me again why i chose to take another english class? yea. OK, we'll call this a ramble and make it a day...or afternoon.

My new coffee thermos is the bees knees. Yes, i just used that phrase, judge me at your own risk. My coffee is warm and cognitive pschology is about to get conquered. Debating on playlist choice. . . .The National, Stars or Joanna Newsom?

~Me

Learning

Sometimes God says "wait" and i don't know why. I am ok with that though. HE knows what HE's doing, there's a purpose in it all, i don't have to sit around wondering what, why, when, or how. I just wait because i know HE is still moving.

Daisies Are My Favorite

Sunday:
documenting alligator progress
meeting
church
lunch at the parent's place
*new couple too. they are kind of wonderful
*long and random chats
work was not exciting
G.C. finally arrives home from NY
*awkward comments to let her know i'm glad she's back. . .
more alligator progress

Monday:
rode "The Bruce" (ze bike) to work
*bike locks are dumb
*feeling rather extroverted and social
not sure where monday afternoon went
i'm sure it was lovely
read sci fi book for class
*getting hooked might be the only option left
G.C. rearranged bookshelf to her liking
*questioned my way of presentation in a "that's not you" way

Tuesday:
sleep always sounds nicer
much nicer than 6 am at least
managed to be on time for class
we discussed pea plants and Mendel
*my favorite lecture in bio thus far
science fiction quiz
*didn't know the last answer. i incorporated ninjas. it fit
lunch? ohhhh yea....... /sigh
psyc classmate/friend is awesome
*clone of evan
*we have the most random conversations. it makes me happy
government class was a bore
*i'm sorry! it's just not my thing, ok.
dumb. dumb. dumb. meeting at work.
*grumble
jello errands
*piggly wiggly is the answer, not kroger
*why, kroger, have you betrayed me?!
pulled alligator from the water.
*HE IS AMAZING
*can i call him sam?
birthday hooplah
*loss of filters = loads of laughs
* <3
chats with G.C. until.....uhhh 2:30 am?
*yes :)

Wednesday:
get up early to prep for bible study
*forgot to make coffee
rode the Bruce to work again
*3 foot rule, people...c'mon.
*also, why do i finish my rides wheezing? i no likey this
Wednesday regulars are my favorite
*random group of FIFTY-FIVE junior high kids not so much
*got told i look like Katie Holmes. again.
*thank you, ma'am, but i still don't see it.
elizabeth taylor died
studying + studying + frustration + studying = :-/
*true fact
snooze fest time?


~Me

The Fail Boat Is Docking

At this current moment in time i just wish that school had a face, or a stomach, just something that i could punch or stare at harshly. Instead i will write. Getting into nursing school really shouldn't be this hard. Perhaps i wasn't cut out for this. Maybe i'm not nurse material. Should i look elsewhere? Should i venture out onto something new and different? Or do i stick it out until i see a letter that says "congratulations, you've been accepted!" rather than another "regretfully. . ."

I feel like it's too early in the game to say that i'm worn out, but then again i should be graduating in two months and i'm not. Everyone around me has a plan or goal with a route in mind or in sight. I don't want to wallow or get all self-centered and pitiful, i just want some understanding. I know i'm not the only one who has gone through something like this or has felt this bummed but geez louise it sure does feel that way. Absolutely rotten.

Everyone says go to school, finish your degree plan, graduate, you'll be happy you did, it'll help you in the long run, etc. What if i don't want to. I am so sick of school. I've considered dropping out, doing long-term missions, but then what about this "economic crisis" we're in? How do you argue that? Do you? What if my heart is just not in it anymore? What if HE tells me to keep on at it until i DO see that "congrats" letter? Should i run until i get so tired that i can't even crawl?

I've got to figure out the right question. And then. . . .and then i'll let you know...

~Me

New Plan. . . !

There seems to be this really frustrating pattern in my life. It involves plan A, then plan B, then if that doesn't work i move on to plan C. Yes, plan D has made an appearance once or twice. I just wish that plan A would work so that plan B, C, and even D didn't even have to exist.

One of the lovely truths about God is that HE never has a backup plan, never has to resort to plan B. HE has known what HE's doing from the beginning, HE never has to question or re-plan or ask us if we have a better route in mind. I'm pretty sure that inputting our ideas/plans could be potentially disastrous. So, if HE has had plan A all along why do we constantly insert plan A.2 or A.7, thinking that it is close enough, maybe even slightly better than what HE has prepared? Or simply put, plan A works, plan B, aka the fail plan, does not.

I would very much like to know HIS plan because i thought i did, but now i am quite unsure. That nursing school i was sure i was getting into...yea, it didn't happen. So what's next? I have one other nursing school which i'm applying to. After that, though, i really have no plan B. Honestly, i'm tired of looking for another route, because it doesn't matter if i haven't sought HIM out first and foremost. My routes lead to dead ends and frustration. New Plan: don't make any plans.

~ME

Because I Felt Like It. . .

I've been uploading pictures to have printed at the store off and on for three days now. i'm still not done and the total is up to 127 photos. eegads! but ooooooh do i love pictures. *heart* here are a few that i like and are in with those 127+ to be printed. . . . first snow ** ** ** things not to do when driving ** ** **

Consider yourself bombarded.
It was my pleasure. <3

~Me

Pie

I had pie. i've been wanting pie for a few days and if you look at my notes from school today you will see that that was quite evident. also, my psychology teacher was talking in class today about how when you study for class that memorization does not cut it. she strongly believes in semantic coding; M-E-A-N-I-N-G. i totally agree, so then she expounded upon this and how your environment is a factor in this, when you're studying and testing. I knew this from long ago, but then she said that if you study with caffeine then you should test highly caffeinated. it's actually proven to improve your test scores. sweet! not that i needed permission or whatnot, but being told to drink more coffee is *fine* by me! wheee! i absolutely love psychology class.

Spring break is quickly approaching. i always want to spell spring break with a capital "S" and "B". . .like it's some kind of important holiday i guess? anyway, it's coming up and i am mad'am planner. yikes! 4-5 girls, one car, camping, hiking, and lots of F-U-N. i'm hoping everything gets worked out in time and that i don't loose my head mean while. my government teacher decided to give us a test the thursday *after* we come back instead of before. i'm not sure i'm in total favor of this idea. also, i'd like a personal masseuse, please and thank you. tense shoulders. they need some love, mhmmm.

i currently smell like cigar smoke. no, i wasn't smoking. hullo, former asthmatic. time to wash clothes? i had fruit and coffee for breakfast. i had fruit and coffee for lunch. it was marvelous. the daffodils have come out. listening to mumford and sons by request of Rose. was in a Stars mood all day. accidentally yelled at a class mate while walking with him across campus. lesson: leaving one earbud in is still one too many when trying to talk to someone. my pie was delicious. lemon meringue. yes, you're allowed to be a wee jealous. <3

~Me