Return To The Home Sweet Home

I am in the process of packing up my room and the likes and I thought this chart was accurate to my current situation:

Well, it's been said that talking leads to thinking and thinking leads to decision making and so on. In this case it is perhaps a decision that should have been made a month ago, but my head wasn't properly situated upon my shoulders and therefore was not functioning to its best ability. Since I am moving off to the lovely Colorado next month until mid February the current living situation, in the long run financially, was decided not to be the wisest. Hoorah lame sauce. The one ridiculous thing about having to move out is that I had finally gotten the place decorated to the point where it felt homey and inviting. You can thank my SP for that. There are many other downsides, but we shall not mention them all here just yet. Just know that this makes three years in a row of moving. Yucko zucko.

Although, on the positive side of moving back home is that I have thoroughly cleaned almost every nook and cranny of my place and thrown away many much things and feel very victorious. Organization is my friend. It was just one of those days where I couldn't sleep because the urge to clean and organize was greater than my desire to sleep later, which generally means business. So business is what I got down to. I felt like that wild loony tunes character Taz, the Tasmanian devil, except that I was productive in my whirling about ways. Yes. Also on the positive side of moving back home is free meals and reclaiming my beloved closet. My closet is the bees knees, i kid you not. I'm sure my parents are also thrilled about my return back to the home sweet home and the fact that they will actually get to see their wonderful daughter before she leaves for seven hundred years! (emphasis added for dramatic effect)

Wish me luck in my packing and moving endeavors! I only have 35 days before I head off on this grand adventure and more to do than I think my poor brain can currently handle. But I think it's going to be fun just the same.

~Josie

Because I Know You Were Dying To Know

So, i got a new pair of shoes, guys. But not just any shoe. After 22 years of living, you'd think i ought to have a basic pair of black shoes, yea? Wrong. May I proudly introduce you to my first pair:

I'm kind of excited about them. . .

Today

My to-do list before i leave for YWAM next month seems to be piling higher and higher to an amount that almost scares me. It's silly things, too, like getting shots that are required, going to the dentist for a cleaning, getting my hair cut, making sure my car is in the most epic shape of its life, packing woes, etc. Basically, too much to do and not enough time, which is the story of our lives. Am i right? Yea...

So, aside from all of these preparations that have to be dealt with i also want to relax and spend more time with family and with friends and just revel in the community that i have and so very much love. At times i wish that i were eighteen again and that i could run around and be carefree with my friends 24/7, but then i'm reminded that i was still a teenager then....we won't go back there. No. Moving forward. . . . . .but this also basically adds up to too much to do and say and not enough time.

I'm pretty sure it's been said by more than one person at more than one time that they wished for just one more hour in the day. Like, how cool would that be! So, what would we do with this extra glorious hour? Perhaps we could go for that bike ride that we never can seem to squeeze in, or go visit with an old friend over coffee, or practice that instrument that you swear you never have time for, or....the list could go on forever.

But it's this, 24/7, way on purpose. We have a choice to make every morning we wake up what to do with the precious hours allotted to us. We have a choice to make the most of it or throw it away. We have the choice to spend it on worrying over every last detail of our lives or to spend it with HIM. We have the choice to complain or to praise every second of every hour of everyday. We have the choice to look at ourselves or to look up at HIM.

I'm not saying it's easy. Nothing good every comes the easy way. He promises hardships, which more than often is death to self and that is no easy task. But death to self is a daily decision, it's something we choose to walk in every moment that He's given us if we confess to love HIM. Basically, if we're surrendered to and walking with HIM then every moment is also His

~me

Poetry

I wrote this sometime last year. Sometimes things stay relevant or solid. At least for me. I can't promise brilliance, so here. . .

Thoughts of distress

Creep up on me

Like a big storm

Upon the sea

Finding no way

Of escaping it,

But not wanting

To surrender either

Deciding to jump

Means death by waves,

Deciding to stay may

Mean death by fright

Instead of surrendering

To fright or death

I will surrender to

The One who

Holds my heart

He will save me

From the enemy's lies,

From all the torment

That plagues my soul

Throw me a rope,

Give ear to my cry

So You can put me

Back on dry ground,

A place I know is firm

SIXTY-SEVEN DAYS

So, for those of you who do not yet know, that near panic attack about my "lost" YWAM application has been eased. It once was lost but now is found. . .hallelujah! Which also means that everything has now gone through and i have been accepted and am now counting down the days! (Sixty-seven, in case you're wondering). Basically, YWAM and things and people to do with YWAM is pretty much all i seem to talk about. Sorry! But i'm just so excited.

Ok, so get this, as i'm looking over some information in the online forum for the Fall DTS group i come across some understandable but kind of sorrowful information. My brain thought one thing, but facts were another. Apparently, when I leave in September i only get one break which i can choose to take or not at Thanksgiving, which is totally cool because it is in fact my FAVORITE holiday. The sorrowful thing is i'm going to have to wear my big girl face because i won't be home for Christmas. Sad panda. I will be overseas, which is completely awesome. . . just also completely out of my comfort zone. But the whole being out of my comfort zone is part of the point here anyway. Sure, it'll feel really strange to be gone during a major holiday for us, but i have to start sometime, right?

I am a major homebody which is going to make these five months interesting and difficult enough as it is, but then add in missing my FAVORITE holiday and Christmas and my sister-in-law's birthday and my dad's birthday and my mom's birthday. . . let's just say i reserve the right to shed a few tears. But in the end HE knows what HE's doing and i know it can only be good because HE is good. Let's just hope the next 67 days are full of peace and low on stress. Kk.

I want to leave you with some fun-ness. . .here's the link to the YWAM Denver website in case you want to check out where i'll be living in the Fall. Enjoy the photos!

~me

Thank You, Oswald

Oswald Chambers tends to express thoughts so well, even my own it seems. . . .

"The aim of the missionary is to do God's will,

not to be useful, not to win the heathen;

he is useful and he does win the heathen,

but that is not his aim.

His aim is to do the will of his LORD."

~me

Short Note

Hullo. I have finally returned from yet another week of church camp. I was exhausted. Do notice the past tense of that sentence. Yea, i totally slept for thirteen hours last night. Wowzers, i know, but i'm pretty sure i needed it. Also, my adductor muscle hates me. At this camp there was a slip n' slide and at this slip n' slide there was a girl, this girl's name was Josie. As this girl slid her way down the slip 'n slide for the thousandth time she, in her attempt to avoid colliding with a small child, pulled her adductor muscle. Oh the joys of being an old lady. Putting on pants is now an accomplishment....sad, i know. But aside from that, the camp was wonderful. I met some great people and made some wonderful memories. Love it.

I bought a hammock. It was waiting for me on my front step when i arrived home from camp

yesterday. I. AM. SO. EXCITED. I've been wanting a hammock for what feels like a forever so i finally broke down and got one. Yay! I haven't used it yet, mainly because of the adductor muscle hiccup, but i have high expectations of it. I know we will become fast friends. Mine is blue, but here's a picture to give you an idea. . .

So, my anxiety is slowly building as the days go on. Why, you ask? Well, my application for YWAM that i sent off a month ago has not made it to the YWAM base. Is it lost? Is it at the wrong YWAM base? I have no idea. Hence the slight panic. Anyway, I say all this so that 1) you know and most importantly that 2) you will pray with me that it finds it's way to the correct YWAM base. HE is in control...always.

~me

Submission. It's Good.

The longer I travel on this journey that God has me taking, the more I discover that HE is bigger than my thoughts and grander than my dreams. There are lots of times when i think that my ideas are perfect and correct, but that generally doesn't last too long. More and more as i walk with HIM i find that HE truly does know best and that HE really does love me and have my best at heart. I am here to glorify HIM, whether that means going or staying, speaking or being quiet.

Lately I've been running into unexpected walls because I keep diverting from the road HE has put me on. I begin to think that i can be useful over there or share a word to that person, but in the end I have come to realize that if my intentions are not to glorify God then they are wrong. Trying to do things out of my own strength or will only leads to frustration and disappointment. . . so can someone explain to me why I cannot get that to stick? I think if you were to whack me with a brick everyday repeating that fact constantly I still may not get it. Surely stubbornness doesn't root itself that deeply. . .

It's nice to know and observe, however, that there are others with similar stories from their travels and truths about who God is and has shown Himself to be. We don't walk this road alone, and as cliche as that may sound it is true. HE doesn't plot out our course, however lovely and desirable that may sound, but calls us to seek HIM out. A great part of the journey is the discovery. I mean, can you imagine how boring it would be if we knew what was around each curve and where HE was taking us next? I love the mysterious nature of God. . .it makes life exciting. HE has showed me, though, that the first step, literally, to walking with HIM along this exciting adventure is submitting to HIM. Nothing else matters until that first step is taken.

True that.

~me